[10.25.2707] Still in Shock(J'sen)

[sorra]

The warm bath had helped Calyssa feel a bit more alive. Although she was still trembling in a bit of a shock. She was now curled on one of the cots in the infirmary away from everyone. She just didn't have the energy to move back to the barracks yet and she wasn't ready to face the other girls or her brother. She was sure that S'tex had heard something had happened.

Freyath lay curled by the cot while Storm was curled up along Calyssa's side to help keep her warm. Calyssa reached down and rested a hand on Freyath's head. The red looked up. Are you okay? You look pale, the young red said worriedly.

Calyssa gave her dragon a small smile. I'll be okay. I just need rest, she assured the worried red. She just hoped that she was right and that was all that she needed. She glanced around for J'sen, knowing the bronze weyrling hadn't gone far from her side since this had happened.

[Kendrall]

J'sen walked over to where Calyssa was laying, carrying a cup of hot tea in his hands. Misty was perched on his shoulder while Amonth walked right next to him, and once they neared her bedside, J'sen set down the cup onto the small table. Misty crooned worriedly at the girl, while Amonth simply flicked his tail back and forth as J'sen sat down in a nearby chair. He frowned as he realized it wasn't close enough, so he scooted forward until he was within reach of Calyssa. He leaned over and gently brushed her cheek, then kissed her on the lips. "I brought you some more tea," he said softly. "If you want, I'll also get you something to eat to help you regain your strength."

Food would be good for her right about now, Amonth agreed with the assessment. Though I don't know what you can get her, Mine.

J'sen leaned back for a moment to give his bonded a reassuring pat on the back. Calyssa will let us know, Amonth. Don't worry. He then took Calyssa's hand into both of his, his worried gaze fixated on the young woman. "I'm not leaving you," he said to her. "If I have to, I'll ask Tesni and the Weyrling Master both if I can stay with you until you recover. I got us into this mess, and it's only fair if I do right by you. Just...don't push me away. I shouldn't have to remind you there will be a firelizard and a dragon both whom will do whatever it takes to keep you and me together." J'sen figured Calyssa would realize he was referring to Misty and Amonth; there was no denying Misty favored Storm while Amonth preferred Freyath's company.

The young man then got an idea. He looked around for a moment, then released Calyssa's hand before getting to his feet and walked over to an empty cot. He dragged it over and set it right next to Calyssa's, effectively making a double cot before laying down on top of it, then curled up next to the blond-haired girl and wrapped an arm around her waist. Misty, in the meantime, had left her pet's shoulder and landed near Storm, curling up next to the blue while Amonth simply shifted and rested next to Freyath.

J'sen smirked playfully at Calyssa. "Told you so."

[sorra]

Calyssa closed her eyes briefly and listened to the sounds around her. She could make out J'sen's steps followed by Amonth's as they walked back over. A weak smile touched her lips briefly as she opened her eyes half way. Storm looked up at Misty and cheeped softly. The little bronze was glad to see them again. Calyssa watched as J'sen pulled the chair closer. "Thank you," she whispered when he mentioned the tea. It had helped a bit. She hesitated on the food end though.

Food is good for you. Make you strong again, Freyath told her rider. She didn't want Calyssa getting any weaker. She already looked pale and sickly.

The red weyrling sighed softly. "Maybe just something small to eat," she finally agreed. She didn't have the strength yet to argue with them. She just hoped that she would start feeling normal again soon. She curled her fingers around his hand weakly. The girl shook her head. "I don't want to push you away," she whispered. "This wasn't your fault. I wanted it just as much as you did." Calyssa didn't want J'sen taking all the blame. She had willingly consented to sleeping with him after all. She had just never figured she would wind up pregnant. She looked up, her blue eyes pale. "But I don't want you getting in trouble. Hopefully I'll be able to go back to the barracks soon."

Calyssa watched as J'sen got up. The teen smiled slightly as she watched him move a cot closer to hers. She shifted just enough to snuggle against him, but not hurt herself in the process. Moving didn't help much yet. Storm nuzzled Misty's shoulder while Freyath curled up against Amonth.

"I see that," she said softly, a smile on her face.

[Kendrall]

J'sen nodded when Calyssa said she could use something to eat, his arm now comfortably wrapped around Calyssa's waist as she snuggled against him. Amonth was likewise curled up against Freyath while Storm and Misty were nuzzling each other. "We both wanted it," he said thoughtfully. "Though now we both know what it's like to have dragonlust run through our veins. Even outside of a Flight, Calyssa..." J'sen trailed off for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I'd still want to be with you. I still want to be your weyrmate until my very last breath." His hand was now lightly massaging her stomach, hopefully his gentle touch would help soothe the pain. "And I won't get into trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if by now word got around the entire Weyr about what happened to us. Knowing G'fal, he'd probably sit us both down at some point and will want to discuss this whole situation. But I won't run from this. Nor from you."

The Bronze Weyrling pressed himself closer to his beloved, now taking his other arm and sliding it underneath Calyssa's side so he could wrap her in his arms. "And I'm sure once Tesni or WeyrHealer Tess decides you're fine, we'll go back to the barracks. Though I'm going to stay a bit closer to you, if you don't mind."

[sorra]

Calyssa was thankful when J'sen didn't seem inclined to move. She was a bit hungry, but she would really rather just stay curled up in his arms. She didn't want to move any. 'That's why I'm not mad at you," she said softly. The young red rider smiled weakly. "I want to stay with you too." She knew now that she loved him. Which was why losing the baby had hurt so badly. Freyath crooned softly as she curled up with Amonth. She wanted her rider to start feeling better. Calyssa smiled at J'sen, but then shuttered. "Yes, I'm sure he will have a talk with us." She didn't even want to think about that at the moment or that everyone had probably heard what had happened. She sighed softly. "Thank you for not running."


The teen bit her lip slightly as she moved to snuggle closer to him. "I would like you to stay here and I like the idea of having you watch over me," she said softly. That sounded like an excellent idea to her. She knew it wouldn't be like when S'tex watched over her.

[Kendrall]

J'sen lay on his side, content with Calyssa in his arms and snuggled in close to him. He got the same feeling of contentment from Amonth and Misty, so in his mind, his world was at peace. The teen admitted to him she wanted to stay with him, that she wanted him to stay with her and watch over her. As for the Weyrling Master..."We'll face him together. I know that we still have a while before graduation, Calyssa, and I know that you and I have discussed this before, but..." J'sen paused for a moment, gulping before pressing on. "I don't know how much control you'll have over Freyath once she Rises. But I know Amonth well enough that he won't hold anything back just to be with her. It'll be the same when Misty decides to Rise and Storm gives chase. I don't know if I can do anything to convince her to choose Storm everytime. Maybe, just maybe, I can dare to hope the outcome will be the same everytime. That you and me will be together during a Flight. That we'll be together always. I love you, Calyssa."

A single tear started to form in his eye, but J'sen did nothing and let it roll away from his eye at an angle. Amonth simply looked at his bonded, but said nothing. The Bronze understood what his Rider was going through, just how much he genuinely cared for Freyath's Rider. Although he couldn't quite grasp the full complexity of J'sen's feelings, Amonth simply remained nestled against the Red at his side. Seems Mine has made a vow to stay with Yours, Freyath. His intentions are honorable, and I know he will not go back on his word. I would see to it that Mine follows through, but I cannot do this on my own.[/i]

[sorra]

Calyssa closed her blue eyes and listened to J'sen's breathing. She felt a bit better, but still felt weak and drained. She was still a bit numb over the fact that she had lost her baby. She was still young, but she wasn't sure she ever wanted to go through the chance of being pregnant again. She was scared. The young red rider smiled slightly. "I would like that," she whispered. Calyssa knew they could handle anything together. She just hoped that G'fal wasn't too hard on them. She nodded. "I want to be with you. I'll try to make sure that Freyath knows that," she said, her voice a bit weak. "I know she likes Amonth. And I love you so much," she said, tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

Freyath crooned softly as she snuggled against Amonth. The red felt bad for her rider. She was so upset and there was nothing she could do to help, but she could tell that her rider was glad to have J'sen there. She snorted softly. I want them together. They are happy together. If you prove yourself worthy I will gladly let you catch me each time, she crooned, nuzzling Amonth.

[Kendrall]

Amonth returned Freyath's croon with one of his own. You needn't fear, lovely Freyath. I shall prove myself worthy to you every time.[/i] J'sen turned his head slightly to see what the commotion was about, and saw Calyssa's Freyath nuzzling his Amonth. The young man merely grunted with interest, then lay his head back down and closed his eyes. His arms were still wrapped around his beloved's waist, not wanting to pull away from her. Yet because of the time they had spent together, J'sen could tell Calyssa was still a bit leery of something. Perhaps it was the thought of going through another miscarriage, that if she conceived again she could very well lose the next baby? Opening his eyes, all he could see was the back of Calyssa's head and neck.

"Hey," he said softly. "Is there something you're not telling me, something you're afraid of?"

[sorra]

Freyath crooned softly. I have no worries that you'll prove yourself, the red said gently. She knew that Amonth could. And she might have been young yet, but so far the bronze was the only one that turned her head. Of course that could have been because her rider liked Amonth's, but that was alright. Calyssa sniffled softly and moved closer to J'sen. She was trembling a bit and still feeling sick. She buried her face and tried to pull herself together. She had never been a weak female before, but she had never lost a baby before either. She tensed at J'sen's question.

"I'm afraid of this happening again," she whimpered. "I don't ever want to be pregnant." Sure, she wanted a family, but she was so scared that she could lose the baby.

[Kendrall]

J'sen bit his lip at Calyssa's response. Granted, her words cut through his soul like a knife, but something was telling the fisherman otherwise. Gently, J'sen rolled onto his back, releasing his hold on the girl then offered to help her get re-settled on top of him, so he could look up into her eyes. Once she was comfortable again, J'sen reached up to brush a lock of hair out of his lover's eyes, and gave her a warm, reassuring smile. "This won't happen again, and I'll tell you why. Neither of us were ready for this right now, but given time...we'll be ready. Trust me. My father always taught me that you never know how to properly raise a sail or set out on the waves the first time out. It's the same with us and losing this baby. But the next one, Calyssa, and every one after that will be born healthy and strong. In fact, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have children with than you."

J'sen raised his head slightly to gently press his lips against Calyssa's forehead, then leaned back down against the cot. "We'll get through this."

[sorra]

Calyssa bit back a wince as J'sen moved her. The girl carefully got situated again. She hated feeling so weak. She hoped that wouldn't last long. The teen rested her head against his chest, just listening to his heart beat. That was helping her settle down a lot. Calyssa slowly raised her eyes, so she could look into his. "I didn't even know I was pregnant," she whispered. "What if I don't know the next time?" She really did want to have a family with him. She was just scared and wasn't sure what to do to make things better. J'sen was right. She wasn't ready for a family yet. Freyath was still young and depended on Calyssa for a lot. She gave him a watery smile. "I do want to have a family with you," she whispered.

She closed her eyes at his gentle kiss on her forehead before laying her head back against his chest. "I know," she said quietly.

[Kendrall]

J'sen simply wrapped his arms around Calyssa's waist, holding her close to him. "You'll know," he said, answering her question softly yet firmly. "I may be wrong, but...either Storm or Freyath will pick up on the fact you're pregnant. After we're together as an official couple, you can always go ask one of the Healers on what signs to look for. I'm sure WeyrHealer Tess or even Tesni or Lyrensa wouldn't mind sharing what they know." Lyrensa, he had heard, was with child herself. J'sen wondered who the father was, but that didn't matter to him right now. What mattered was making sure his Calyssa was alright, that her Freyath would likewise be okay.

He lifted a hand to gently stroke the teen's hair, a gentle sigh escaping his lips.

[sorra]

Calyssa listened quietly. She hadn't know this time though. Of course she hadn't thought that one time together would ever cause this. She sighed softly. "I hope so. I would hate to have this happen again." She was still terrified of that. She didn't want to lose another one of J'sen's babies. She tried not to think of the little life she had already lost. The teen nodded slightly. "Yeah, maybe I will. I don't want to take any chances," she said softly, closing her eyes. Talking was helping even if she still didn't feel real well. And she liked being close to J'sen. It made her feel safe.

The teen sighed in content as he brushed her hair. It felt so good and helped calm her down.