[7.1.2707] Can We Talk? (G'rett)

[sorra]

Kiyoni left Elliwodth sleeping on her ledge and Rivi curled up with her. The search rider didn't want to disturb either of them or have them nosing around. It was going to be hard enough to do what she had planned anyhow. She just hoped that she didn't lose her nerve.

She pulled her hair up in a quick runnertail and straightened out her clothes before heading out of her weyr. She headed for a certain bronze rider's weyr, hoping he would be around and not busy. Kiyoni stopped and knocked on his door.

"G'rett?" she asked hesitantly, hoping she wasn't disturbing him.

[Kendrall]

G'rett was sound asleep when an insisting knock came on his door. He groaned and lifted his head, unsure of the time. A quick glance over at the dragon couch revealed Coth, too, was sound asleep. Thankfully, whomever was wanting to see the Wingleader didn't wake up his bonded. Coth wasn't usually cranky when someone woke him, but it would be a good idea not to test that theory right now. Pulling back the furs, G'rett slipped on a pair of breeches and tunic, not bothering to tie the leather laces around his neck, and paused for a moment when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

He blinked for a minute. Why would Kiyoni come see him now? Combing a hand through his hair, he opened the door just enough for him to peer around it. Sure enough, it was the Searchrider. Opening the door wider, G'rett simply blinked at her, then shrugged, and waved her inside. "This isn't about the latest flight performance from Aphelion Wing, obviously," he said. Technically he wasn't in charge of Aphelion as that rank belonged to the Weyrthird, but as a Wingleader and Bronze Rider he could still review those records at any time, if nothing else but to pass along his recommendations. G'rett knew Kiyoni flew in Aphelion Wing, hence the comment he made. No, it had to be something else, and he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted to speak with him about.

[sorra]

Kiyoni shifted from foot to foot outside the door. She kept glancing around the abandoned corridor, wondering if maybe she should have waited. She thought about just leaving and trying again some other time when she heard the door open a crack.

The search rider smiled shyly when G'rett opened the door. "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you," she said uncertainly. "I could come back at another time." She shook her head when he asked about her wing. "No, everything's fine there." At least she thought so. She had been a bit distracted during a couple of the practices too, but thankfully not to the point of anyone getting hurt or herself getting hurt. Kiyoni quietly stepped inside, still feeling a bit nervous and jittery even though G'rett was a good friend.

[Kendrall]

G'rett shook his head when Kiyoni tried to apologize. "Not really, no. If there's one thing I've learned since making Wingleader, it's to always keep my door open to anyone in need of advice." After waving her in and she stepped through the door, he kept it open for altruistic reasons. He pointed to his private table and pulled out a chair for her, then walked around to the other side of the table and seated himself.

He calmly noted Kiyoni had seemed a bit nervous, so he reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "Kiyoni," he said softly, "there's no need to be worried. You and I promised to remain friends no matter what happened, and I'll live up to my word. Flightlust or not. If something is bothering you, please, tell me and I'll do what I can to help you out." G'rett suspected that was the reason why the Searchrider was here. She was still a bit unnerved over waking up next to him and Quindara both. Granted, it was a bit unsettling for him as well, and awkward. Not to mention troubling. Still, he knew he'd have a responsibility to live up to.

[sorra]

She managed a shaky smiled. "Thank you," she said. Kiyoni had a feeling she would lose her nerve if she didn't do this now. The green rider slid into the chair that he pulled out for her. She drummed her fingers on the desk and nearly jumped when G'rett took her hand in his. She quickly looked up, her blue eyes holding uncertainty.

"I know we did," Kiyoni said softly. "And I don't want to lose you as a friend. That's not what I'm worried about," she said. She had no doubt that her and G'rett would stay friends. It had been very awkward to wake up with him and Quindara in her bed though. That still bothered her a bit. But that wasn't the worst thing. "I haven't been able to concentrate lately," she finally admitted, her face looking slightly paler then normal.

[Kendrall]

G'rett released Kiyoni's hand and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his chin as if pondering. If she didn't want to lose him as a friend, in spite of his word, what in Faranth's name was she worried about? Why the lack of confidence in this pretty yet brave Searchrider? His eyes searched hers for a moment, as if trying to see if there was a different story other than what she was verbally telling him. When he couldn't discern it, he sighed and gestured for Kiyoni to continue.

"You won't lose me as a friend, Kiyoni. Ever. If this is about what happened the other morning..." He stopped short as he noticed her face become pale. Not overly so, but enough for his trained eyes to spot it. He sighed. "I haven't been able to concentrate much myself since then, to be honest with you. Waking up in between you and Quindara was one thing. Not knowing if either of you is now carrying my child is another. But what bothers me is you've been avoiding me for the past few days, Kiyoni. True friends shouldn't do that to each other." The last part he said softly, but he meant it.

[sorra]

Kiyoni left her hands resting on the desk. She knew she had messed up with G'rett and Jaysen and had nearly messed up with Arktos as well. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been. She had nearly lost three friends at once. She slowly looked up at him, her blue eyes looking dull. How could she explain what was really bothering her? She hadn't thought about having a baby yet. She tried not to think about that.

"I've really messed up," she whispered softly. "I blew a Search. I didn't tell him everything he needed to know and I couldn't concentrate during drills. I nearly got myself and Elli hurt." Kiyoni sighed. "I just don't get why I can't think straight." Her face flushed. "I'm sorry. That's another thing I've messed up. I ran from you and Arktos. I never should have done that."

[Kendrall]

G'rett offered Kiyoni a forgiving, compassionate smile. "Kiyoni, in all the time I've known you, you rarely screw up on a Search, and yet you've always shrugged it off. This one should be no different. Your Candidate made it safely here, didn't he? And I'm sure he'll forgive you for not telling him everything. Besides, Tesni can always keep him company."

He had to shake his head when she mentioned she couldn't concentrate during the last drill, nearly injuring herself and Elli. "Don't feel so bad. I nearly had two Riders under my direct command collide with each other during a drill. They failed to compensate for the crosswind. B'selion wanted to formally reprimand them both but I told him to stand down, since anyone can make a mistake like that." G'rett's heart nearly ached when Kiyoni said she wasn't sure why she couldn't keep her train of thought, why she was kicking herself for running. "Kiyoni," he said, looking into her eyes. "I forgive you. But if you're finding yourself not thinking straight...well, I'm certainly no Healer. Perhaps a visit to the Infirmary might do you some good?"

[sorra]

The search rider nodded. "Yes, Jaysen made it here fine and he didn't seem mad when he found out about it. It was just something I shouldn't have forgotten." She sighed softly. Maybe she hadn't messed up as badly as she had thought despite everything. "I know. I don't know why this time I couldn't shrug it off."

Kiyoni looked up at G'rett in surprise. "Really? You're not just making that up to make me feel better?" She hated how she had messed up during drills. She hadn't done that since weyrlinghood when they were all messing up anyhow. Her face paled slightly at his suggestion. "A healer?" she asked softly. Was she really that bad? Could her being distracted all the time actually be something else?

[Kendrall]

G'rett tried to file away the Candidate's name for future reference. He trusted Kiyoni's...well, it was really Elliwodth's sense of intuition, and would do what he could to keep that name fresh in his mind. It'd be interesting to see how well the boy would do at the upcoming Hatching. At least he and I share one quality already. Neither of us can really find fault with Kiyoni. G'rett watched the Searchrider carefully. Still, there is something that has been eating away at her, and it's gone on long enough.

He had to give her an honest shake of his head when she accused him of making up his story. "Unfortunately, I'm not. Though I have to tell you of what I just told you goes no further than this room, and that's a direct order. Under no circumstances are you to repeat that to anyone else." He sighed. "It's probably a good thing you're not in Stardust, Kiyoni. I'd hate to see you get hurt. Most of the Riders have this feeling of invincibility, like they can do anything after watching what Coth and I can do. But even I know that I'm mortal and can be beaten. They, unfortunately, don't see that." G'rett then nodded when she was shocked he'd even suggest seeing a Healer. "I'm no Mindhealer, Kiyoni. And if whatever is bothering you is causing you to lose your concentration, I'd highly suggest you make an appointment with one." G'rett wasn't exactly sure who would be on-call in the Infirmary that day, but prayed it wasn't a certain senior Weyrling. "Even though I'm not your direct superior, as a friend - a good, close friend - I'm asking you to at least think it over. I'll even go with you, if you want."

[sorra]

Kiyoni ran an absent hand through her hair that was falling out of her runnertail. She was glad she had come to talk to G'rett. She was hoping maybe soon she'd be able to go back to being normal. Although she still couldn't really pin down what was bothering her. Was it that she had slept with someone besides Arktos? Or that she had woken up beside another woman? Or the very real possibility that she could be pregnant? Maybe even that she felt she had left Jaysen down? She just wasn't sure.

The search rider shook her head. "I wouldn't tell anyone else," she assured him. She knew what happened in a wing was up to the Wingleaders to see to, not someone else. Kiyoni smiled slightly. "Some riders seem to get that in their heads. I remember feeling the same way when I was younger," she admitted. Although that hadn't lasted too long. Her face paled. She wasn't sure if she liked the thought of seeing a Healer. "What would I tell them?" she squeaked. What would Arktos think if he knew she went to see a Healer? Could a Healer really help? She was just so confused.

[Kendrall]

G'rett could tell by the crestfallen look on Kiyoni's face the whole Flight had bothered her badly, but knew neither of them would be able to get it out of their minds anytime soon. Still, one fact that remained was Kiyoni was his first. Well, Kiyoni and Quindara, anyway. The whole incident was still a blur, but there were a few bits and pieces that stood out in his mind. G'rett just had to decide how much of it to hold on to and which parts he'd just as soon throw away. The only problem was, he didn't think he'd be able to sort through it all. Either he'd have to take the bad with the good, or throw it all away.

At least Kiyoni was agreeable not to say anything. G'rett didn't need to remind her what the penalty was for disclosing confidential information. Although he himself would have to deal with Q'del if word ever got out. He tried to imagine burying his fist in Q'del's face if the Weyrsecond ever pushed him to his breaking point, prompting an internal smirk. Much better. But when Kiyoni seemed to become nervous over seeing a Healer and wasn't sure what to ask them, the Wingleader merely shrugged.

"I really don't know what you'd tell them," he answered. "Other than the fact you haven't slept well, you probably haven't eaten very much lately, and you've been under a lot of stress. All of which has started to impair your ability to think clearly, and it's starting to affect your performance as a Rider. But those are my words, not yours. It'll be up to you to word it how you see fit. Just don't stretch the truth when you talk to the Healers. Especially that one Journeyman who likes to wear outlandish colors." G'rett shuddered. "He may be a Senior Weyrling, and I've been tempted to speak to G'fal about his attitude. But he's a fine Healer regardless. I'll give him that much."

[sorra]

Kiyoni tried to push the flight to the back of her mind for a bit. At least until she could figure out how to sort everything out in her mind. Until she could really figure things out without getting upset she'd just try not to focus on it. Although maybe she'd hunt Jaysen down soon and apologize to him. And as for the baby. She couldn't change that if she did end up pregnant. Although she honestly wasn't sure if she would really want to or not.

She smiled a little when she caught G'rett's look. She wasn't stupid. She knew what would happen if she broke confidence. And she would never dream of doing that. He had told her that to help her and there was no reason for anyone else to know about it.

The search rider sighed softly. "Maybe you're right," she agreed. "I should see a Healer. I haven't felt like myself lately. Sleeping's been out of the question and I just haven't wanted to eat." Kiyoni nodded. "I don't think I've met him yet. I really haven't been down to the infirmary. Although I'm sure G'fal would be willing to talk if you had any concerns."

[Kendrall]

G'rett could only watch with compassion at his friend. He'd do whatever it took to keep someone like Kiyoni safe from harm or greiving, but the latter part would be difficult at best in light of recent events. Still, he was thankful she and Quinara both had been his first experience with a woman. He vowed both women would forever remain in his heart, and he'd keep it that way. But there would be a minor difference: Kiyoni would always remain his best friend, Quindara would always be his weyrmate and lover. If the day ever came where Arktos were to suddenly pass away, G'rett would do all he could to console Kiyoni and her children.

It would be best if he and the Candidate Master spoke, and soon.

"I could always wake Coth and have him send word to..." He had to think for a moment. What was that Green's name that Healer Impressed to? Oh, that was it. "Aromath." G'rett had to think about how the Healer wasn't even out of quarantine but had been allowed to Stand at the last Hatching, and a Green dragon had chosen him. The Wingleader shook his head ruefully at the memory. The young man hadn't even gone through his courses as a Candidate, yet his only saving grace was the fact he wore the knots of a Junior Journeyman Healer. Sure, he was arrogant and full of himself. Aromath wasn't helping matters, either. Regardless, G'rett knew C'olt's abilities and respected him for them.

If he mouths off to Kiyoni or makes even the slightest off-handed remark, he and I will have words. He may be brash and bold and a decent Healer, but he still has much to learn. If I get the chance, I'll push C'olt and his Aromath to their limits when it comes to the flying lessons.

"C'olt lives up to his name most of the time. Brash, arrogant, proud...but like I said, he's a decent Healer." G'rett shrugged. "I haven't had time to sit down and talk with him personally, but I usually let G'fal deal with the Weyrlings. I don't know if C'olt specialized in mindhealing, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to him. You just have to ignore most of his comments and look past them if he's to be of any help to you."

[sorra]

The search rider sat quietly for a few moments, rocking back and forth in the chair. She was still trying to gather her thoughts together. Why couldn't she just put the flight out of her mind? Or at least the parts that bothered her? She was sure it wasn't the first time that had ever happened to someone. But it was her it had happened to and not someone else. Although she wouldn't want to change the fact that it had been G'rett. She cared deeply for him as a friend, but it had still be awkward to say the least.

Kiyoni quickly looked up at his words. "So you really think I should see a Healer?" She was still a bit leery about that. She had never really had to go to the Healers and this time sort of scared her. She nodded a little. "I've heard his name and I'll try to ignore any comments he makes." She hadn't heard enough to know what he was like. She smiled slightly. "I don't envy G'fal his position. Dealing with the weyrlings wouldn't be easy." She had to get her mind off her troubles. So far she had made peace with Artktos and G'rett. Now she just had to talk to Jaysen once he was out of quarantine.